Rain: A Small Piece of Hope

At 5 o'clock in the morning, the alarm was ringing, "It's a new day, okay 20 minutes later". He turned off and reset the alarm for 20 minutes later. As he close his eyes, there was something hairy jumped into him, "Oh kitty, are you hungry? Come on, I'll get you something to eat". after feed his cat, he walked to the window and looked up the sky, "'It's gonna be rain".

He sat on a bench in the park, waiting for a woman. Under the warmth of sunlight, he was waiting his woman patiently, accompanied by a singing canary that played by the poolside. From the distance, there came a woman with a long black hair, she looked straight to the man through her blue eyes, "Am I late?". He glanced over his watch, it is 10.20 a.m. 

"Hmm.. yeah, but that's fine, it's only 20 minutes, shall we go now?". "Okay I can't wait for even a little longer. You looked different ever since", said she, as she held his hand. 

"Yeah of course, it has been three months we haven't met. Anyway, do you still keep it? The thing I gave you three months ago?"

She looked up the sky and put her finger on her chin as she was thinking "Ya it's quite a long time, but of course I still keep it. Firstly, I thought you were joking, but then I realize that it was the symbol of love". 

Then both of them visited the place they used to go, sat on the bench they used to sit on, and talked about the ridiculous, weird, and absurd things. They spent every second with laughter.

When the sun was going back to the horizon, they went to the hill in the eastern side of the town. They lied on the meadow blanketed with the darkened sky decorated by only a few luminous of stars that was emerging. The man talked as he looked into her eyes. He held her hand and asked "Do you still love me?". The woman nodded, and they kissed as the drench fell, they were laughing with the tears of joy in the rain like the lads and lasses played with the rain. "Thanks, that was a perfect night in my life, see you. Good night", and the woman left.

The man laughed "That's gonna be a nice day, I can't wait". Then he set up the alarm for 5 a.m. The day had changed, he looked up the ceiling, there was a note clang on there "Oh yeah, I've gotta met her today. Finally, for the last three months await". He walked to the window and looked up the sky, it was cloudy and gloomy. "I should take two umbrella, oh no no no, an umbrella".

He was walking to the park, and saw a beautiful girl sitting on a bench. She looked dejected. "You are late". He glanced over his watch "I'm sorry, it's only 10 minutes. Shall we go now?". "Okay lets go", the woman rushed and left the man behind.

"I can't believe that you still remember this place, I mean, it has been a long time", he opened a conversation. "Of course, it used to be our place", she said with a smile.

"Do you still keep it? The thing I gave to you three months ago?" There was no answer, she was texting, "I'm sorry, it's my friend, can you repeat that question?"

"Hmm, no that's nothing" said the man.

The woman kept texting while the man felt awkward, in that silence, he did not know what to do so that he just had his lunch without saying a word.

In the evening, they went to a hill at the back of their campus. The man took her and lied on the meadow, but the night looked damn and cold, there was no star. The man took her hand and held it tight, and when he was about to say that he still loved her, the ringing of her phone ruined everything. "I'm sorry", said she. She released the man's hand and began texting again.

Suddenly the sound of lightning, "It's gonna be a drench, we should go back soon" said the woman. The man looked up the sky and said "Calm down, I take an umbrella. Just stay for a couple of minutes". "But I'm sorry, I can't. Someone waits me, I've gotta go now".

The man smiled, "sure, take my umbrella, it's about to rain. You can't meet him in wet like a drowned rat. I'm gonna be here for a fer minutes".

"Okay, thank you for this day. That was a nice day". It started raining, and the woman looked back "Are you sure wanna be there?"

"Yeah, that's only a drizzle", he smiled to the woman. As she left, the drench fell.

Thanks God for giving me rain, so that she thought it was rain that falling down my cheek. At least, I learn something from today. 

Hopeful thinking will only make us forget about the reality.

Rain is like a feeling booster, when I was happy, it can make us happier. and when I was depressed, it makes me feel more depressed.

Good night to myself".

The Right and The Wrong

Wrong Behind The Right and Right Behind The Wrong

I would always remembered that thing. It was happened when I was in school, I was alienated, excluded by most of the women that I thought will be the figures of a good woman. They were indeed a good person, a good moslem. Unlike me, those women wore big veil that covered them till the knee. Besides, they spent most of their time by staying at the mosque routinely, and reciting Koran. I wanted to be like them, but every time I came and tried to get along with them, they treated me as if I were not exist. Some looked at me as though I were something disgusting. Well, i knew that I was not a good moslem yet. I just wanted to explore myself first, I wanted to define whether something was good or bad, I still wanted to wear many kinds of hairpins, hats, and another accessories on my hair. I knew that they were much better than me, they kept walking on the straight path, but there are things that changed how I looked at them. Why should they look at me so disgustingly? Why should they not talk to me?

On Friday, the girls in the class were gathered to attend the 'womanhood'. it was an activity in which the girls were taught by the seniors to be a good women, about how to behave, how to face the men, etc. That day, there was a game, it was like a quiz, and those who answered the question correctly, would deserve a present. when the question was asked, immediately most of us raised our hand, and the seniors would choose a girl to answer the question, but until the seventh question, I felt strange that they had never pointed me. Meanwhile, one of my classmates, Ani had already got two prizes. It was clear in the next question, it was quite difficult to be answered, but I knew the answer, eventually I raised my hand, and shortly after me, Ani raised her hand too. How startled I was as they pointed Ani, instead of me, the first to raise hand.

The things that astonished me most was when Ani and the seniors said in a very loud voice that the women who does not cover up her aurat is like a walking-genital. I was flabbergasted to hear such a delicate women like them capable of pronouncing those kind of words so loudly. They did not care a pin to those who did not wear veil, or the non-moslems who might hear it.

As far as I know, Islam teaches us to be nice to each other, and to tolerate the differences. Can it be said as toleration?

One day, at the classroom, when Ani and her friends were chatting with her friend, I was still copying the chunks of the Koran verses because I could not write it fast, moreover there were many mistakes I made, and the worse thing was that I forgot taking my eraser, so that I tried to borrow one from Ani, but when I asked her, she did not even listen to me. At that time, I was full of rage and finally exploded. As I slapped the table, I said "Hey! What's your problem? Have I ever done something bad to you? Do I offend you?". After that i just left without hearing all her excuses. I went to my grandma's house for about a month to get a refreshing.

I knew that they did not want to be my friend or even to gt around with me because I was not looked like them. I did not wear veil.The ones that regarded themselves 'perfect' will only get around with another perfect person. Well, I did not mind if everyone excluded me. I just wanted to be myself. I wanted to wear veil when I am ready, rather than when I am afraid to lose my friends. Overall, someday I would get bored with myself at this way and then I would find the symbolic meaning of a veil. At that time, I will be wearing veil all the time. For me, it is better than some people who wore veil occasionally. They put their veil off when they were with their boyfriend, or when they hanged out. Actually, it reminded me of an old story:

There was a man who killed 99 people. One day, he almost killed an ustadz, the ustadz told him something that made the man's eyes wet, he finally forswear. Then the ustadz asked him to go to a mosque that was so far away, and the man died in his way to mosque. It is purportedly that the man was directly sent to the heaven.

That story made me think how if the man killed a person  and then he forswear, and the next day he murdered another person, then he exclaimed his repentance, and it happened continually until he killed ten people. Will he be sentenced to heaven? He killed less than the man in that old story, besides, he exclaimed his repentance more than once.

There was also another story when a religious teacher tried doing bad thing for once, but, in his astray way, he died. It was said that he was sentenced to the hell.

Life is like a coconut that fall from the tree, it is unpredictable. It may fall as a seed, as it is still green, as it is ripe, or when it is ripe. However, that makes life more interesting, when we faced he challenges in our path. I might die when I am not wearing a veil, but I will not regret it, I have chosen.

Now I am here in my classroom, doing the national test, but I do not see Ani in the classroom either it is in the first, second, or the last day. I fancy she is not going on well. However, how shocked I am when I heard that she has been dropped out because of her pregnancy.

Several days later, my mother and I were in a market for a monthly expenditure. In that scorching day, I encounter Ani who is still in her usual proud style. I came to her and said "I knew I am neither holy nor pure person like you, but at least I can still maintain my honor. My Islam is inside of me, not merely in my appearance", and I leave her right away.

If I were a teacher who is teaching in my class, but then one of my students kept looking at something outside the classroom all the time, instead of forcing him to pay attention in my class, I will ask him to go out my class, let him check what was there in the outside, and soon he will comeback to my class and follow my lesson in focus.

However, there always a possibility that the student does not comeback, and prefer being in the outside, anyway, life is choice.

Dear Diary

Dear diary
May, 5th

This morning, when I was in cafeteria  having a cup of coffee, there was a guy came up to my table and asked me my name. He is so kind, he told me everything about him, and somehow I am interested on him, then I told him everything about me too. I didn't know why time moves so fast, when we were laughing out loud, my daddy ruined everything, he asked me to go home soon, yeah it was nearly midnight, but I just wanted to be with him for a little longer, however, we had arranged a time for us to meet again in such date. Oh... I can't wait. :3

Dear diary

May, 8th

It was an amazing date, perhaps, one of my best date ever. He took me to such a poolside garden, we sat on a bamboo bench under an oak tree. It was a very picturesque scenery with a reflection of the moon in the surface of a still water. He held my hand for the first time as he told me some funny stories that made me explode with laughter. At that time, the stars and the moon were the witnesses of our first date. This time, we arranged a routine meeting once in three days.

Dear diary
May, 11st

It was our second date, I don't know whether it is a broken hear or merely an upset. This afternoon, he took me to a mall in his neighborhood. As usual, we always have a nice and funny conversation on every topic we talked. However, there came a girl, she said that she is his school-friend, maybe, my disturbance feeling is not reasonable, my heart is like broken when he introduced me as his 'friend'. Actually, I am indeed his friend, but I don't know why, somehow I wanna be someone more than his friend.

Dear diary
May, 14th

After three days I held some question that I eagerly wanted to ask him, this day I vomited everything to him. There was not a sign of shocking on his face, he just said that he has already known, and he said that I must have known that he loves me too. I was very glad to hear that, it just like a volcano that finally erupted. In the evening, I asked him what will happened next. I asked him if we were gonna be in a relationship or something, however, he just said that things won't work as usual if we were in a relationship. I cannot understand!

Dear diary

May, 17th

I put this day as the best day in my life. Today is exactly the 17th years I've lived in this beautiful life. Moreover, it will be the day I always remember because this is my relationship with him. He looked doubt at the first, but it is my day, so I am the queen in this day, I have successfully ensured him that after this day, everything would become more beautiful then the previous days. :*

Dear diary
May, 20th
This day, I have made some agreement regarding our relationship. We've agreed that because we have been dating, we have to put each of us in the first place. Of course, we have tied with the bond of love, so that we have to be together no matter what will happened. Oh thanks God, I can be with him more often. :D

Dear diary
May, 21st
Today, we have a little debate. It was all started when Ann, one of my friend said that she saw him chatting with a girl in the cafe, our cafe.However, he said that she is only his school-friend, but I just couldn't forgive such a betrayal he made. Finally, he promised that he won't do that again. Ok, something should get worse before it got better.

Dear diary
May, 22nd
I don't know what happened to him, but he turns to be so cold. This afternoon, when we went to a theater, he didn't even hold my hand, and in the evening when he brought me home, he didn't give me a 'good night kiss'. I fancy there is another girl :(

Dear diary
May, 23rd
I started this day with a bad mood, because when I woke up, he texted me. He said that we will not be able to meet for several days ahead because he have to go out of this city for his work. Oh.. It's gonna be a boring days without him. I don't know how to spend my time, my holidays.

Dear diary
May, 29th
It is the sixth day he neither gives me any news about him and his work, nor asking about mine, but in the afternoon, I got a letter from him. He said that there was no signal in there. I smell a rat on him, it must be another girl. TT

Dear diary
June, 1st
He finally return, but he did not change at all, he still a cold person. This afternoon we met at the cafeteria, and I just can't believe in what he said that he wanted to stay away from me just for a little while. He said that he need to refresh his mind from the saturation of our courtship. From that, I nod  and just leave, I didn't care about all excuses he made. I just know that there is something.

Dear diary
June, 3rd
When I was at the mall, there came a boy who came up and had a chat with me. Actually I didn't wanna do this, but I am sure that my BF must be doing this too. So I took advantage of this situation, at least, if he jilted me, I won't be so lonely in frustration and desperation. Overall, it will be fair enough.

Dear diary
June, 4th
I think, my 'friendship' with this new guy is intimating, we hold hand, I knew he want me, but my BF just too precious, of course I don't wanna lose him, and I don't wanna lose this new guy too. I love my boyfriend, yet I like and feel comfortable with this new guy. I just don't wanna be alone. I need caring, attention, and loving.

Dear diary
June, 6th
It was the chaotic and unfortunate day ever! I was with him when suddenly I got a SMS from my boyfriend who was on the way here. In panic, I explained everything to the guy sat in front of me and asked him to hide in a toilet for a moment. I could see disappointment on his face. 10 later, my BF came. We were in a serious talk regarding our relationship when my 'boy-friend' came and told him everything. He told my BF all what I told him, the miserable relationship, his vices, and my discomfort, and everything!
I was speechless, I just didn't understand why this dumb boy told my BF everything. He said that he wanted to make all things clear, but what he do is 
making all things worse.
After a long conversation, my BF asked me if I wanted to leave that guy and came back to him. Of course I said that I do, but unexpectedly he jilted me and said that he was not an option, and left.
And now, I am here all alone in the darkness of the night. I hope I could turn back the time.

Dear diary
May 17 th
In my 18th birthday, I am very happy, but it was completely a different 'happy' from the one in last year. This day, I was happy with my friends and families of course.
When I was checking by birthday presents, I saw a dirty book below my bed. Oh... it was my diary. Reading all of my write, make me laugh out loud. I don't understand how stupid I was.
I was too close with him so that I cannot put love sign between our name.
Now I know, that things will be pretty if we make it as it is, and I know that  a beautiful things will lose its beauty as we try to posses it.

Marni, an indonesian who clings to her own culture

Marni, an indonesian who clings to her own culture

Unlike usual, Hansamu International Junior High School seemed quiet. It was because all of the students were gathered and centralized in the auditorium at the back of the school. It is said that Yu Wenxia, miss world 2012 would visit  Hansamu International Junior high school in her Asian tour a month later. Mr. Hananta as the principal of the school would held an Indonesian cultural festival to welcome the Miss world. However, because of the complains from the students, and the parents as well, the Indonesian culture festival was changed into Asian cultural festival.

When the registration stands were opened, most of the students lined and were centralized in Korean and Japanesse stand. Meanwhile there were only a few students in the Indonesian culture stand, they were Marni and her friends.

"Look at them! What are they doing there?", Cindy said satirically to her friends. "Well, after graduating from here, I wanna go to Korea, I'll make a Girl-band there, you all will see me as famous singer several years later, and they who lined there (while pointing at Marni and her friends) will be a street performers in a traffic light and live a miserable life in a village for the rest of their life. Life is for those who follow the trends!"

"However, I am proud of myself. I still cling to my culture", Marni said. Cindy pointed out the Japanesse stand and said "looked at them, at least they will go to Japan. Besides, my friends and I will go to Korea, but where do you want to go? Sleman? Pegaten? or Cibatu? hahaha", Cindy and most of the students were laughing out loud. Marni left with tears running down her cheeks. 

In her way, she bumped into Mr. Hananta, the principal of the school. "Are you alright? Why are you crying", the principal asked wistfully  After he heard everything, he smiled "Oh dear, why should you be crying? You should be proud of yourself. You are the one from a very few students who love your own culture. You are one of the heroine in this country". Marni cried " But they are right. Where could I go? At least they could go to Korea or Japan". "They only got a little chance of going there, and succeed as being an entertainer. In Indonesia, there are millions of people learning and loving foreign culture, but look at them. They are putting mask on their face as if they were colored people in Africa who painted their their skin white and pretended as if they were white people", the principal explained and gave Marni his handkerchief to wipe her tears. "Listen child, how can world respect you if you do not respect your own history, your culture? Just respect your identity, your culture, and then world will respect you. By loving and learning your own culture, you not only can go to Japan or Korean, but all over the world. Life is simple dear, if you were born as colored, just be a good colored people; if you were born as white, just be a good white people; and if you were born as Indonesian, just be a good Indonesian, Okay?". A light of spirit radiated in Marni's eyes. "Thank you sir, I will be the best of what I can be and do to this country", she said and proudly went back to the Indonesian culture registration stand although all of her friends moved to another stands.

A month later, there was a bad news from the Miss world whom her plan was suddenly changed. She had to go back soon to her country. However, after a conversation with Mr. Hananta, she would make a little time for the students to perform their culture and ability. All the students and the parents were gathered in the auditorium. "Hi guys", she greeted the audiences. "Firstly I would apologize to all of the students who have been rehearsing what you will perform now, because I cannot stay here for a long time, but because my intention here is to get to know your culture. I think it would be great if I see a performance of you before I leave". All eyes were staring at Marni, the one who fight to the bitter end. She came forward and performed several traditional dances. At that moment, world could see Marni, an Indonesian who  still clings to her own culture.

Another Story of Snow White

Another Story of Snow White

After being kissed by the prince, Snow White finally awoke from the forever sleep. In euphoria, Snow White said farewell to all of the dwarfs who had provided her food and shelter. After that, the prince took her went through the dark forest again to the castle and introduced her to the king and the queen, and set a time for commencing a marriage. The king looked deep into Snow White's eyes and then he said "you seem familiar. Have we ever met before? Have you been in a prom? Oh just forget it.. William, take her to her room, she looked so pale". "Yes, are you alright dear?" the queen added. "yes, I am alright. Perhaps, I just need a little rest after a long way across the dark forest to get here" She answered. Then the prince took her into her room in the corner. The king kept looking at Snow White and trying to recall his long term memory, but he could not remember the face.

A week after their marriage, Snow White got sick. Her face was paler than the dead. Her skin was as thin as paper. She vomited everything she ate, and the worst thing was that the large lump in her stomach as if she were in a 5-months-pregnancy. However, the prince knew quite well that it was impossible since they had just married for about a week. He did not know how to ask her, so that all his question kept unsaid. until one day, he could not stand being rained by all his insecurity and looking at her terrible condition, so he asked her a question "oh my dear, what is happening to you? Please tell me. What can I do?". In the middle of cough, she answered "It is our child, you will be a father soon".

"Don't lie! I know it is not my child. Tell me whose child it is. Tell me for the love of the God!", he panting.

"I am sorry dear, actually it is the dwarfs", she said it hoarsely and then lost her consciousness  eventually the prince called the doctor.

"What has happened to your wife?", the queen asked wistfully. "I don't know, but now she is with the doctor", he stammered. The prince muttered in panic and frantically took his sword and rushed into the dark forest.

The next day, the prince went home with a bloodstained sword. He threw his sword and soon talked to the doctor about his wife. "The princess is getting better. I am sure she will be fine after the confinement that supposedly will occurred a month later", the doctor explained.

the prince hasted into the room and got shocked as he saw his wife laying in a dim-lit room, she looked like a zombie with a very big stomach, and it was much bigger now. She wailed hoarsely "My dear, where have you been? I am afraid", then she sniffed around and frantically asked "you're so fishy, and why are your clothes covered with mud and blood?". "Nothing, I have just comeback from the forest, hunting, as usual. What are you afraid of my dear?"

"I don't know whether it was merely a dream or a real, but last night I heard slow footsteps and people whispering about killing. I am afraid dear, please stay close with me", she hugged the prince. "Don't be afraid, I'll be here for you and there is nothing in this world can hurt you. I don't know, but judging from your condition, I just think that your stepmother had put a curse on you".

A month had passed, Snow White's stomach was becoming bigger and bigger, she wailed all the time, her body was covered with sweat. She was about to give a birth to her baby. With the help from the doctor, the terrible confinement was about to be done.

In the other room, the king, the queen, and the prince were in panic, suddenly the king said in a high pitch of his voice as he pointed his hand "If it is a boy, I must kill him!". "But why? No, it is my child. None in this world can touch him when I am still alive!", the prince snarled.

"Your child? You meant the dwarfs' child? She has been raped by the old little obscene men as if she were an animal!", he king gritted. "Be silent, all of you! Oh God! it is not a time for arguing", the queen cried.

suddenly, they heard Snow White croaked. Frantically, they scattered around to the room. The room reeked of blood, he queen immediately fainted. In the dimly-lighted room, they saw loath blood all over the room, the doctor was laying breathless in the darkest corner, his stomach was slashed, his limbs were hanging loose, he had been ripped.

"What has happened dear? Are you alright? Where is our child?, the prince rushed and hugged Snow White who was quivering and crying. "Someone has just come and taken our son", she stammered. "I know who did this", the prince hasted. He ignored all what Snow White said, he took his sword and rushed into the king's room. Meanwhile, the king was carrying the queen who was unconscious because of the shock of seeing a gruesomely sight. The king talked under his breath "I shouldn't have let you enter the room, I knew that you heart is weak". Suddenly the door was slammed, the prince came, taking a sword "Where is my son? Why did you do this to me?".  The king kept silent, he was talking to the queen who was still unconscious. "Answer me!", the prince snarl. In a rage, the king took a sword under his bed and said "How dare you talk to me in that way. I could almost wish him dead for such a shame he will bring to this empire". In the infuriating, they unsheathed their sword.

Snow White was crying, hearing out all what happened in the king's room. Her husband and father-in-law were fighting in a madness, but then as she heard nothing, she grimace. In that dimly-lighted room, she took a potion under the bed, and swallowed it. She began laughing. As she imbibed the potion, her throat was sore as if it was burnt. The pain was irresistible so that she could not help herself from wailing, but suddenly he pain was lessening. Then she took a mirror from the bottom of the bed and looked at herself on it "My face is back. Oh sacred mirror.. tell me who the most beautiful woman in this world is". Then the mirror answered "You, You are the most beautiful woman in this world my queen".

****

She was walking to the darkness, laughing. She still remembered everything she had done. "Poor Snow White, you could have lived happily if you choose another side of the apple. I can remember it clearly, in that rainy day, when I came, taking a red apple and halving it to both of us. She choose one side and turned her into a hag and died by the stupid dwarfs, while I, who ate another side fell into forever sleep, but I have already knew from the first time that there will be someone who came and save me. I just need to wait for someone to come and kissed me, and it happened. They were in euphoria to see me alive, except one of the dwarf, although he was deaf and dumb too. Yet, he was still a threat, and he may ruin all my plans. So that I fooled the prince to kill them all, overall, it is fair enough. The prince took a revenge for the death of his beloved". In the outside of the castle, she met a small red creature with a horn in his forehead. "Hey, where is your dad?", she yelled. "I don't know ma. After playing with the man with a white clothes in that room, he took me here and just disappear", the red creature said. "Well, followed me, quickly! the sun is about to rise", she said.