My Pathetic Romance

My Pathetic Romance

For these weeks, I have been confused by a woman who seemed to be falling in love with me but her attitude is always changing. I don't know why I feel myself a mellow man. Why should I worry about one? I mean, my life has already surrounded by many women (one of which is my grandma). Many people may say that that it is love that make my feeling stands before my logic. Actually I don't want my brain being overwhelmed by this feeling because I can easily lose my self-control. However, it is natural being distracted by love. I felt myself as human when I loved somebody.

Okay, because I have already mentioned about love, my thought has been recalled about my past memories of love. Well..I began committing a relationship in 2009 when I was in the second grade of senior high school (yeah it's quite pathetic) with a little and innocent girl but 119 days later, strangely I found myself being cheated. Actually it was a very shameful story because 3 generation of students in my school along with the cleaning service staffs and some teachers knew what was happened and how pathetic I am, but the first step always hard. Now, I know that my first Ex-girlfriend has taught me love and hurt. So from my deepest heart, I would thank her wherever she is.

After a week of confusion, desperation and the sadness I tried to escape from that tragic romance by committing my second relationship with a sweet girl (my junior as well), actually I didn't really loved her, I just wanted to unleash myself from the label of "desperate man". A week later in the beginning of January 2010 I jilted her one-sided and left her crying. It taught me that relationship should be based on a sincere love. I would say really sorry to her, I was so bad and that's absolutely my fault.

As time goes by, three months later, I've been dating with many girls and getting understand the mystery of women's heart. I continued seeking of the true meaning of love and trying to understand women's feeling by moving on from one heart to another.

My third GF was a junior high school girl (maybe many people would say I was a pedophile, but at least I'm not gay, lol). After she confessed her love to me, the one-month relationship did not walk smoothly because I rarely visited her and at that time, I was kind of clumsy. I learned that the challenges of love is when I was in the relationship, not merely a stage of approaching.

During November 2010 to March 2011, I found my forth, fifth,and sixth GFs. They were Initiator, I mean, I didn't have to say everything but they eventually asked me to do you-know-what. Well.. I appreciated them for being straightforward but because I was a naive man, I was afraid of doing sin and being sentenced to forever hell, so I denied their request. (I wish I could turn back the time, lol). From that time, I know that deep inside me, I am a good person, because I could still think about sin in the mid of temptation and desire. It was my conscience that protected me and fortunately, I heard my conscience.

In April 2011 I found my seventh girl, the 13 months of the togetherness in ups and downs has to be ended unhappily because there was great problems, so that I have to jilted her unilaterally. It was quite sad for me because I knew that she was so kind and she also accepted me the way I am because I think I didn't treat her well, I didn't gave her anything, I did't ask her for a sumptuous dinner .. etc. From that, I learn that the virtue of love is not being together, but just love the people I love sincerely wherever she was no matter  she loves you too or not.

Actually I prefer not to commit relationship, so I can observe the world and find the right complement for me without being bounded by the chain of relationship that always ended up with sorrow. So I will exert every effort not to be in any relationship until I am in more serious level to find my forever complement.

My chapter of life has been filled with love  and affection by people who loved me and the people I loved.There are many lessons I can get and learn from love. The fate has directed the path of many people to meet mine. By meeting these people, hopefully I can get the lesson to improve the quality of my life.