Normality

“Well, this is the life I had to get through”, I said.

“But why?” he frowned, “you don’t have to be like this. There are so many good places out there. Those were what people called life!”

“Because my father told me not to”, I looked into his brown eyes, “I am his daughter, so what I have to do is to do what he want.”

I heard him utter no word. There was it, the sound I hated most; the deafening silence. I could almost hear the ticking of the clocks, the blast of the wind, and his pounding heartbeats. I rather heard him blabbering than be in this uncomfortable state of quiet. At the very end of every relationship I ever had, there was always a silence before the last look, and then leaving as the dark clouds in my eyes began releasing its particles.

Then I took a deep breath and started talking, “when I was a girl, shortly after my mom passed away in a car accident, my father always asked me to be careful wherever I am. He asked me to live like all normal people, just be in a straight path. My dad had his servant drive me everywhere I went. That was the time when everyone started to go away from me, all the boys began treating me as if I was fragile.”

“How do you feel about that?”

I took a piece of tissue in case I needed it, and then looked at his puzzled face “at first, I got it wrong; but then I feel that my dad is somehow right, everything may befall me.”

He said nothing.

“That is why I have never been camping or doing anything out of what-so-called comfort zone. It sometimes bothers me, yet here I am, safe and sound”, I replied without looking at him, “…and I hope, you love me just the way I am.”

He stared down onto the floor, smiling, “yeah, I love you and I am not in any way of changing you.” He put on his coat as if he wanted to leave.

“Wait!” I stood up, “I thought you love me.”

“I do love you dearie and I will always; I am not denying this infatuating feeling”, he threw me a cold smiled, “leaving you does not mean that I stop loving you. I have just loved you enough; and now, I will just love you from an invisible spaces and indefinable time. I will love you in unnoticeable way; within the beats of your heart, the blinks of your eyes, and the breath of your lungs.”

My mind was about to vomit all my thoughts but my lips uttered no words.

By the threshold, he stopped, ”normal people in my town prefers staying at bright places in the evening for a comfortable and safe reasons; for that reasons, they had never seen the beauty of fireflies, they do not even know there is firefly.”

That very second, he threw his last look into my eyes before the last time I saw him.

I could notice my quiver feet that could have walked after him;

I could see my trembling two hands that could have held him;

I could feel my twitching lips that could have called him back;

…yet, I did nothing but seeing him walking further and further away from me.

…and he has gone..