I really don't have any idea about what is going to happen in my life. For these weeks, everything turns unpredictable. The time has lighted some dark corners in my surroundings that previously have not been seen, and strung up by itself into a plausible anomaly.
A few days ago, a crazy thought from a weirdo has made me contemplate with myself for days.
That was started in the evening when I went home with him. I asked him the reason why he ruined his own life (academically), and the things he was up to. He simply answered that he was in some sort of dilemma. In the one hand he wanted to be free, and in the other hand, he was surrounded by college and life's responsibilities.
By that time I asked him, " What is the meaning of freedom?".
He simply said, "Freedom is happiness, it is doing anything what I want, unlike attending the classes, doing the assignments, and following what others do".
Then I said, "I think all people never really can be free if you define freedom like that. I am doing the routines of life, yet I am happy. I always feel the freedom in the middle of the routines".
"Everybody wants freedom, don't they?", and then he added, "Do you wanna be in a jail?".
"I am talking about freedom in thought, not literally. Everybody won't ever get the freedom in here. They, including us will always be a slave, a slave of the routines life, a slave of the things we have to do. You are old enough to think of your future! If you haven't, at least you can think of what your parents think if you failed". I said.
He paused for a moment, and then inquired me another things, "You are so active. What is the aim of your life anyway?"
"I don't know. I don't even know what I am going to be. I don't know what is my skill. I don't know what I am capable of doing", after a moment of thinking, I spoke up, "Yeah that is why I come for almost all of the classes. Maybe I can find out what I am capable of".
"Don't you wanna be a free person like me? or being a rich people?. I think being a rich man is freedom".
"No, I don't think so. I think being rich is more enslaving, you have another thing to be worried about. I read a novel, it says that the free people are the vagabond. They don't have to think of their possessions since they don't have any. They don't have to think of their responsibility to the society. They can go anywhere because they don't have any house to think of. Just think of the 'here' and the 'now'. Isn't it freedom?".
"No, I don't think so. I think being rich is more enslaving, you have another thing to be worried about. I read a novel, it says that the free people are the vagabond. They don't have to think of their possessions since they don't have any. They don't have to think of their responsibility to the society. They can go anywhere because they don't have any house to think of. Just think of the 'here' and the 'now'. Isn't it freedom?".
"Yeah you are right" he whispered. "I am wondering why you so concern with my study? I mean, what is the good for you if I succeed or fail?", he inquired.
"That is the purpose of my life that I know. I just wanna be useful for others. Doing a favor for others. I mean, that is the most plausible and simple goals I can define. If I wanted to be rich, living in a happy marriage with a beautiful wife and nice children, I will always want more. anyway, I may lose them all. Those things may be taken away from me anytime. My house, my wife, children. So being useful to other is more achievable for me".
"You mean putting your head under someone else foot?", he asked.
"The sense is not like that, but the point is that. Anyway, I was failed, it will be nice if I saw my friends succeed. That is simple right?"
That was the last conversation before I reached home.
We can get lesson from anything as long as we think.
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