The Snowflakes

As usual, I fell slowly from the majestic winter sky and scattered around on the ground, covered all the green meadow with my white blanket. By the warmth of the sunlight, I then melted into a tranquil water which flowed down every inch of the rocky slopes, be the source of life for all the living things.

I always thought that my routine life was neither happy, nor sad. It was just nothing, like the void of the dark night sky.

One day, When I fell down from the majestic sky, a little innocent girl gathered, and made me a happy snowman, she even gave me a hat and a scarf. Day by day, the little girl came and played with me who soon thought that my existence a little more meaningful than a mere scattered snowflake. I felt myself the most happiest snowflake among other ordinary snow. 

One day, there are seven delinquents came around me, some of them grinned at me, I didn't understand why were those people suddenly kicked me, pinched me, and some of them even tore my body apart with a snowboard while laughing and running to and fro.

Soon, I was scattered around on the ground, incapable of doing anything except lying helplessly down there. The little innocent girl had already made me forgot many things, one of the thing is being alone.. I forgot the feeling of scattered down, cold and having no friends.

When the little girl came, I saw her collecting every snowflakes to make a new snowman, but.. not me. The little girl did not even look at me, she raised and gathered the other snowflakes in tears and left me down here, trampled by the pedestrians. She took my hat and scarf, and gave it to her new snowman.

I have never felt this feeling before, and I cannot describe it. It is just hurt... and now, every year, I have to pass through a long frozen winter and feel this pain in every sound of ticking clock..

Promises

Promise.. A hero says that promise is responsibility. He does anything not because of money, popularity, or power, but merely because his faithful promise to his nation.

Promise.. A little boy says that promise is doing what he has said he would do.

Promise.. A loving man says that promise is making his beloved always happy by his side.

Promise.. A lost traveler says that promise is a light that makes him struggle even in a worst situation to find the way back home.

Promise.. A disappointed man says that promise is a thing that should not have been uttered unless it is kept.

 

Promise.. A responsible father said that promise is the one that makes him back to the very chaotic situation in his home.

Promise.. It is like the sun that promises the earth that he will always come from the east, and recessed in the west. The entire earth is a little girl who waits for the moment of sunrise in the east, and the sunset in the west. The sun will always keep his promise, because he knows, breaking his promise will break the heart of the little girl.

Promise.. it is the chain that links our heart, once you broke your promise, you broke the chain, and you broke my heart too.

An Analogy of Love

When you love someone, you are flying with tens balloons in your hand. You will fly, higher... higher... until a certain height. You can see the anything differently from that new perspective. Clouds which become the ornaments of the blue sky as a flock of white sheep in the blue meadow that are delicately grazed by the tender hand of the unseen. The beautiful sun which exotically plays with its golden hair that is awake, and asleep in the horizon. Everything will be more beautiful than ever.

However, there will be a time that your hand will be tired, or the balloon will burst at certain height, and by that time, you will fall into the ground, the very same place where you start, but with the pain of falling. 

The longer you hold the balloon, the higher you will fly. The higher you fly, the more pain you will feel when you fall. The longer you hold the balloon, the more pain you will get from the falling.

By loving, you will surely always feel pain, either it is at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of the moment. There will always be a separation within the loving people, either it is in the form of divorcement, or death.

Finally, everyone you love, will merely be the one you used to love. At that time, there is no other things you can do, but to wait, waiting for the time to do his magnificent task, to make all the weary nostalgia evaporate to the sky, to be a vapor which later will fall as drizzle that will wash away your grief.

The love that makes you cry in happiness, is the same love that makes you cry in sadness...

Quote of the Day

I get home at 10 p.m.  

What a tiring day, as usual. I will be sleeping by 11 p.m., and waking up at 4 a.m, doing all the overwhelming assignments.

Those are my routines, but I don't know why I never felt bored with these routines, because in every routine, there is always something new.

This afternoon I learnt a new thing about being a leader. I remember a quote, if I am not wrong, the quote is like this:

If you want to be a tall tree, you will have to be used to with the wind. The taller you are, the more windy you will feel, and if you don't want to be struck by the wind, don't be a tall tree - (Pramoedya Ananta)

This is what I learnt today, I realize how hard it is to be a leader, to have a power. Once you make a mistake, it will be exposed.

I am a leader of myself indeed, and every time I make a mistake, the other parts of me will get the consequences, I will be haunted by the guilt. Maybe I will be a real leader someday, and by that time, I am sure that I will have learnt many things about being a leader, making mistakes, and fixing them.

Making mistake, and finding that it was a mistake. Life lies between those two things.

Good night.

Aim of Life: A Simple Conversation

I really don't have any idea about what is going to happen in my life. For these weeks, everything turns unpredictable. The time has lighted some dark corners in my surroundings that previously have not been seen, and strung up by itself into a plausible anomaly.

A few days ago, a crazy thought from a weirdo has made me contemplate with myself for days.

That was started in the evening when I went home with him. I asked him the reason why he ruined his own life (academically), and the things he was up to. He simply answered that he was in some sort of dilemma. In the one hand he wanted to be free, and in the other hand, he was surrounded by college and life's responsibilities.

By that time I asked him, " What is the meaning of freedom?".

He simply said, "Freedom is happiness, it is doing anything what I want, unlike attending the classes, doing the assignments, and following what others do".

Then I said, "I think all people never really can be free if you define freedom like that. I am doing the routines of life, yet I am happy. I always feel the freedom in the middle of the routines".

"Everybody wants freedom, don't they?", and then he added, "Do you wanna be in a jail?".

"I am talking about freedom in thought, not literally. Everybody won't ever get the freedom in here. They, including us will always be a slave, a slave of the routines life, a slave of the things we have to do. You are old enough to think of your future! If you haven't, at least you can think of what your parents think if you failed". I said.

He paused for a moment, and then inquired me another things, "You are so active. What is the aim of your life anyway?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what I am going to be. I don't know what is my skill. I don't know what I am capable of doing", after a moment of thinking, I spoke up, "Yeah that is why I come for almost all of the classes. Maybe I can find out what I am capable of".

"Don't you wanna be a free person like me? or being a rich people?. I think being a rich man is freedom".

"No, I don't think so. I think being rich is more enslaving, you have another thing to be worried about. I read a novel, it says that the free people are the vagabond. They don't have to think of their possessions since they don't have any. They don't have to think of their responsibility to the society. They can go anywhere because they don't have any house to think of. Just think of the 'here' and the 'now'. Isn't it freedom?".

"Yeah you are right" he whispered. "I am wondering why you so concern with my study? I mean, what is the good for you if I succeed or fail?", he inquired.

"That is the purpose of my life that I know. I just wanna be useful for others. Doing a favor for others. I mean, that is the most plausible and simple goals I can define. If I wanted to be rich, living in a happy marriage with a beautiful wife and nice children, I will always want more. anyway, I may lose them all. Those things may be taken away from me anytime. My house, my wife, children. So being useful to other is more achievable for me".

"You mean putting your head under someone else foot?", he asked.

"The sense is not like that, but the point is that. Anyway, I was failed, it will be nice if I saw my friends succeed. That is simple right?" 

That was the last conversation before I reached home.

We can get lesson from anything as long as we think.